IRA's Hit List

The following is a list of companies, organizations and individuals who are in the business of slaughtering helpless insects. If you know of any one else that needs to be on this list, be sure to drop me a line via e-mail and I will post it promptly.

Sea Gulls: Ever seen a tractor ploughing fields? Behind it comes a wake of sea gulls eating untold numbers of insects turned up out of their winter homes. There they lie snug in their beds about ready to crawl out to a spring time feast and next they know they are turning into meal for old Jonathan Livingston. One astute member pointed out this fact. He says, "Gulls are really devious and cunning and actually have begun a weird new cult worshipping tractors during their orgies of bug sucking." Good work fellow IRA member!

Exterminating Companies: There are too many individual organizations here to list them separately but they are always the same whether disguising themselves as organic or environmentally friendly or dressing up as some type of terminator figure they all do the same thing... annihilate insects.

McDonalds Restaurant: Everyone has heard the old rumor about "wormburgers" nuff said. Agri-business: One of our most antagonistic foes, yearly billions of lives are lost to production of foodstuffs. Help us put these fiends out of business and stop eating vegetables, grain, dairy products or meats. Boycott the agricultural industry!

Children: Who hasn't seen children mercilessly burning ants with magnifying glasses or watch them stomping on beetles while squealing with delight? Lets not forget the lightning bugs in jars incidents either.

Detroit: This whole city is bound and determined to wipe out the entire insect population by ruthlessly manufacturing cars and trucks to be used as lethal weapons against all of insect kind.

Gourmet Chefs: Yes that's right. It is fast becoming chique to EAT insects. Long considered delicacies in other countries, it is becoming a fad all over the world now to cook and eat insects and their larvae! This practice has to stop!

Entomologists: These people hide under the guise of science but these are cruel people who crucify defenseless insects on display boards with long pointy pins. The practice of mounting insects in itself is a despicable act which should be stopped, after all, the insects can't say No! How would you like it if you were snatched out of the air with a big net and crucified on a board?

Happy Bikers: These outlaw motorcyclists have been known to carry between their teeth numerous insect carcasses from smiling too much while riding. The least they could do is grin rather than smiling toothily, giving the poor bugs a certain death against tobacco stained teeth.

Tequila manufacturers: Who hasn't heard of the worm in the bottom of the tequila bottles? The distillers drop a live worm into a bottle to test for purity. If it dies before hitting the bottom it is strong enough for human consumption. We do have to give these people the benefit of the doubt however, since at least they give the worms a last drink.

Martha Stewart: I don't know if she is a bug killer or not but she really pisses me off. I'm sure with that big garden and super clean kitchen she has to be pretty harsh on the insect world. I bet she probably finds some very crafty ways of dealing with the carcasses though.

Boll Weevil Eradicators: Probably the worst of all the insect rights violators, these people exist only to eradicate (cause the extinction of) the boll weevil. No other organization has specifically been formed to cause the complete extinction of a bug. Death to the eradicators!

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